So, I had some more thoughts on Love Work over the weekend. By no means should we be denied love in our lives, but I think people have come to a time in their life where they are feeling the desperation of economical stress and failure in this society that more people are clinging to the idea of love. Maybe I am wrong or being too cynical? Do we HAVE to have a relationship, man or woman, to identify who we are? Are we not enough for ourselves to be happy?
So, I sit and look around and evaluate those lovers around me, my own relationship of 16 years, and most of all the marriage of my parents, cliche I know, go ahead and think it, cause I sure did! LOL.
So when do we know if doing love work on a straying spouse, cheating boyfriend, or old flame is worth the time and money spent? Only you alone can actually answer this question in the end. And this is why I have said it time and time again, even if the cards say no way there's no chance, the heart wants what the heart wants, and people are free to choose as they will, ignore warnings and signs or heed the red flags. I am actually amazed at how many people ignore the pertinent details that signal an impending doom. This is why I will recommend a reading in most cases, and will all together decline a case. This however, hasn't stopped some from purchasing materials and going along with madness! All I can do is offer my suggestions and advice. So what are the signs that someone should look at in deciding whether or not to proceed with love work? Well aside from the behaviors I mentioned previously in the last blog on Love Work, when was the last time you spoke to your ex? Has he moved on to another relationship, is it serious, are they married, do they have children together? This should be a first question in your mind. Do you find it necessary to break up a happy marriage, one that will involve hurting a child from breaking up his/her home?
I have heard of this situation from co workers, but have yet to have one such case come my way, it's usually the wife trying to keep another mistress out of the picture and preventing her cheating husband from straying.
And then there is that issue, if you work on a straying husband or boyfriend, do you take responsibility of forgiving this man completely and learning to trust him again? Is it true "once a cheater, always a cheater"? Even if it's not true, how many of us have been taught this idea and so for that, it remains in the back of our heads, contributing to a lack of knowing how to build trust, and in the end contributing to an impending failure of the relationship anyway.
There are a hundred types of relationships and circumstances, each unique, each with it's strengths and weaknesses. I believe the best thing in situations like these is to evaluate all sides of the pros and cons, taking care of yourself first and your needs in a relationship is important before you can begin to know what you want, what your boundaries are. Not many people stick to boundaries, much less form them, and I don't mean boundaries on another, I mean personal boundaries. When is enough abuse, enough? How long will a woman hang on to a man expecting him to change? I have seen women hold on, while they try everything they can to find a way to change a man. When in the end they don't realize they have lost their own self respect and worth as a beautiful woman of desire from a man who is not worthy of their love!
If only all women can be logical and follow that logic when their sanity is at risk. LOL.
To me all I can say is that no person is worth giving up your own self sanity, health, and emotional well being. Not every person is able to make changes to be better at loving another. That's just cold hard facts, baby.
I am not trying to sound pessimistic, I am talking about real life occurrences that affect many people in the world. I would love nothing more than for everyone to find true love, and not hurt each other in the process. I suppose, I might be a little romantic at heart. Lol.
